The Unique Language of ADHD
By Zackary J. Schlegel, M.S., LCMHCA
When sitting down to write this, much of my focus was placed on the deadline of its submission. How am I going to write it? Will I get it done in time? Do I even really want to write it in the first place?? It was during this internal interrogation session that I realized why writing an article like this has always been more difficult for me. It's because I am trying to translate my thoughts and ideas that I already know into a form that is understandable by everyone else. Now you may be thinking, “Um…Duh. That's what writing is dummy.” Well sure but here me out, because ADHD has a way of making our thoughts and ideas seem jumbled in a way only fellow “ADHDers” could understand.
Take this example; We are having a conversation about your favorite fruit. You swear by honeycrisp apples, but I say cotton candy grapes are the best. Naturally, we debate with no real goal of convincing the other to change, just that we are right and they are wrong. However, halfway through our conversation about fruit, I start talking about how good the movie “IT” is, and that you should totally watch it. Hm, one moment we were on grapes, now we’re on horror movies. To your average person, these things have absolutely nothing in common and I just randomly changed the subject. But to the ADHDer, this transition makes perfect sense.
Let me explain.
See, when we were discussing our favorite fruits, I mentioned cotton candy grapes. While talking about such grapes I began thinking about cotton candy, which is usually handed out at circuses. What tends to be at circuses?? CLOWNS!! Clowns can be rather scary for a lot of people, in fact they even made a movie about an evil clown that was pretty good. Then I wonder if you'd seen it, and ask if you've heard of the movie “IT” and presto. Now this may seem like an incoherent thought path to take about something completely unrelated to the conversation at hand. However due to the unique way an ADHDer’s brain is mapped, these kinds of connections happen all the time. Now, where the translating comes in, happens silently for most. The ADHDer will try to format their seemingly unrelated connection in such a way that the non-ADHDer would understand. Multiply that by 10-15x and you have a recipe for exhaustion.
When wild, spider-web like connections are made, often the ADHDer can be made to feel “weird” or “wrong” simply because their connection was not understood. This leads to a very common occurrence of higher social anxiety and even low self esteem. All from simply being misunderstood or mistranslated. All of this is to say, many neuro-divergents, but especially those with ADHD or autism, are constantly trying to reformat and translate what their mind connects so those around them can understand them. This is also coincidentally what leads to the formation of masks or masking behavior. However, what is often very common is that the person translating cares about the conversation or the person they are talking with, otherwise they would likely stay silent or talk minimally. So next time someone with ADHD makes an odd or unrelated connection during your conversation, understand there was a lot of thought put into it. And they just might really like you, hence why they put in the extra effort to help you understand their wonderful brain.
