Trust and Therapy: An Essential Balance
By Zackary J. Schlegel, M.S., LCMHCA
The word “Therapy” most likely creates a certain mental image for you. Often we think of the older man with a long, white beard, rounded glasses, and a suit vest. Then there's the old saying, “Tell me how that makes you feel.” While not all therapists look like that image (in fact, most of us try to avoid it), and we are generally more creative with asking about your emotions, these ideas of therapy have made it into the mainstream. However, one huge part of clinical mental health that hasn’t entered pop-psych is session rapport. Or put another way, trust in your therapist.
See, arguably, one of the most important parts of therapy is the environment of sessions. After all, if you don’t trust your therapist with your feelings, then you probably won’t discuss them. Building good client/therapist rapport is essential not only for client comfort but also for progress. Think of it this way: you wouldn't talk to a stranger in the grocery store about a feeling of inadequacy, at least not in the same way as with a partner or spouse. While there is such a thing as client confidentiality, that only encourages truthful discussions, it doesn't mandate it.
Therapists try to build rapport with the client so that we can create a safe and supportive setting. Every therapist approaches this differently, too. Some use personal connections, noting similarities between their life and the client’s. Others will use validation techniques, helping the client to see that their feelings and experiences are important and real. All in all, it is the therapist’s goal to help the client feel understood and supported, possibly in ways they never have before. In short, there is much more to therapy going on under the hood than simply “tell me how you feel”, and all of it is aimed to help the client feel safe, but also strong. After all, it is always stronger to confront emotions rather than hide them away; we just help you do that.
